Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Happy Birthday. . .

March 23 is my birthday, but it is not exactly the day I slipped forth from the womb. It celebrates the birth of my new and improved bone marrow 12 years ago. Sometime ago, I was told that I had a life ending disease and had about 10 years to live. All I could think, was my boys (one was just a toddler) would be teenagers and wouldn't have a mother.
First I was afraid,
I was petrified
Kept thinking I would never live . . .
But I spent so many nights
thinking what did I do wrong . . .
(cancer doesn't work that way)
But I grew strong
I learned how to carry on . . .

(with the help of a stem cell transplant)

Go on now go walk out
the door
just turn around now
'cause you're not welcome anymore
weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with that final goodbye
you think I'd crumble
you think I'd lay down and die
Oh no, not I , I will survive

as long as I know how to love
I know I will stay alive
I've got all my life to live
I've got all my love to give
and I'll survive

Happy Birthday” is a victory song for the 11 million cancer survivors celebrating birthdays this year. I am just one of the millions and it feels great! So it is only fitting that you go to this link and listen Gloria sing Happy Birthday to me!!!

My youngest is almost out of the teen years and I have had to remind myself many times, that I was looking forward to this. I have almost survived that!

I love this quote from Carl Sagan:
Six times (2 for me) now I have looked Death in the face. And six times Death has averted his gaze and let me pass. Eventually, of course, Death will claim me–as he does each of us. It’s only a question of when. And how. I’ve learned much from our confrontations—especially about the beauty and sweet poignancy of life, about the preciousness of friends and family, about the transforming power of love. In fact, almost dying is such a positive, character-building experience that I’d recommend it to everybody—except, of course, for the irreducible and essential element of risk.

BF from 6th gra
de(one of the many caregivers I am so grateful for)
The sweet beauty of life as I stepped outside Stanford Hospital 1999

1 comment:

Cowgirl said...

My darling K-grrl,

I have been thinking long and hard about this post of yours. Although, I knew 'of' you during this time, I didn't 'know' you. We had met, briefly, through Chad, years before, but for some reason that I cannot fathom now, we didn't become close at that time.
What to say except...thanks be to whatever higher power helped you make it through and to the good, medical treatment you got and especially to your caregivers. There is nothing like being near death and having the kindness of sweet nurse at your bedside. I think that getting through each day was (and still is) a miracle. I am glad you are still here...stats be damned...my life would be sorely lacking without you to love. LOVE, LOve, Love, love you and all your ridiculousness. xo tu prima yena