NIGHT BANDIT

We were noticing that the cat food was disappearing rapidly out in the shed. When Ben went out at night, he was going CRAZY about "something out there". Then heard the cats hissing and yowling. Next, the 5 gallon container of cat food was methodically opened and dumped on the floor. The container, that takes me a crow-bar to open. . . So it seems that we have a night intruder coming in the lets-put-in-a-cat-door-so-Nephrikitty-has-easy-access-to-her-food-DOOR and using his little coony fingers to creat chaos. Didn't take much to attract him right into the trap.


But did he have an attitude!!

He definitely won't be harrassing the cats again.


I just can't picture Princess chumming up to him or his pals, either!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWEET 13

Can't let this day go by with out being thankful for life and health.

Yes, once again, I am celebrating my bone marrow birthday!!
13 years ago was day zero. My marrow had been wiped out with total body radiation and high dose chemo to eradicate malignant cancer cells. Day zero my purged ("cleansed") baby stem cells (which were collected earlier in the month after high dose chemo) were infused and then I just had to wait for them to stimulate my marrow to produce healthy cells. "Watch and wait" was more like "watch and worry"! A rather barbaric process to be honest, but was relieved somewhat by a morphine induced "drug haze" with just a touch of a button. Pictured here: Day 11 The first day I produced a very few new cells. I also had very few platelets, which explains the bruising.

I am glad it is all behind me!!

“Illness is the night side of life, a more onerous citizenship.Everyone who is born holds dual citizenship, in the kingdom of the well and in the kingdom of the sick. Although we all prefer to use the good passport, sooner or later each of use is obliged, at least for a spell, to identify ourselves as citizens of that other place.” --Susan Sontag--

The climb is never easy,
but the view is worth every step. . .

Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul.
And sings the tune
Without the words,
and never stops at all.
--Emily Dickinson--

WINTER--MISERABLE. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . SUMMER---MISERABLE WITH LESS CLOTHES

These words were spoken by my spouse who gets "grouchy" when the weather does not suit him. . . .which living in the Central Valley with it's temperamental weather often puts him in a bad mood. He was So-Cal raised, Mr. Surfer boy, and evidently, back in the dark ages, the weather there was probably 70 year round.

I, on the other hand spent years in Michigan where snow was pretty much 6 months out of the year and summers were a sauna. Since I am an antique, this was before snow blowers and other snow removal conveniences and light-weight polartec. Schools NEVER had snow days, otherwise, we would never finish the school year. (Yeah, I had to walk a mile uphill both ways in about 10 layers of clothes.) What I am trying to say, I think the Calif Central Valley is just fine, even if instead of snow, we get a little fog or rain. It is by no means miserable for me.

This winter was very mild and dry, but there is always MARCH MADNESS! Which is very unpredictable.

This March has not disappointed.

As you know from my morning drive, I like to focus on the beauty of the local country and be mindful of those moments of "grace". The almond orchard on my road became a sea of blossoms and was alive with the buzzing of bees. Everywhere there is an intimation of renewal, of restoration and new life. The wind came along and then there was a blizzard of blossoms, leaving the ground looking like fresh fallen snow--pink snow!

SPRING HAS SPRUNG!

"Springtime is the land awakening.
The March winds are the morning yawn."

DON'T STOP LIVING IN THE RED. . . .

So one of my friends was traveling to Toronto and look who just happened to be traveling first class with him. This is Annie. She started her trip in LA and even with several stops, just sat quietly in her seat. She didn't even partake of the airline food. I just thought she was adorable. Wonder how often she has to get a dye job to keep that "look"! or get her roots retouched?

MORNING DRIVE

I use to think that one of the disadvantages of living in the country was the longer commute into town for work, groceries, gas, just about everything. (Ok, so it is all of 20 minutes.) However, lately I have been focusing on mindfulness and appreciating the moment. So now the morning drive gives me moments of grace to drink in the beauty of the drive. The sun coming up, the hawk standing guard on his fence post, the oaks in the fog, etc. Taking my camera along, I tried to capture some of it."WITH EACH SUNRISE, WE START ANEW"

BEHIND EVERY FABULOUS PERSON IS AN OUTSTANDING TEACHER

WHAT IS A TEACHER?
"I’ll tell you: it isn’t someone who teaches something, but someone who inspires the student to give of her best in order to discover
what she already knows.”

When I was in 6th grade, my family moved to Tennessee from Michigan. Although, this was only a distance of 600 miles, it was a huge step back into another world, a major culture shock. This was in the 60's. There was segregation & KKK. There were "rebels" and "yankees". I thought the Civil War ended in 1865, so was surprised to find out it was still alive and in action a hundred years later. Then there was Bobby, Martin, & John. I was also in those formative tween years and there was so much conflict,war, anger, hate, but fortunately also, change going on in the sixties. Change evident in the fashions, music (yeah, the best), and self expression-free love and all.

For a couple of years, my major influence was my favorite teacher--"MR.C". If all of us were privileged to have a teacher like him, the world would be a different place! His love for teaching and children showed in everything he did. I was particularly blessed that "MR. C" always gave us something to take home to think about besides homework. He encouraged individuality and to think for ourselves instead of conforming to narrow minded view of the world around us. He inspired creative expression.

I have been fortunate to re-connect with him in the last couple of years and he still amazes me with his enthusiasm for learning.If the quote "Anyone who keeps learning stays young", then he is keeping his mind young. He is a wealth of information on about any subject you might bring up. Still always smiling and chuckling and sharing funny anecdotes from the past.

Dad and Mrs. Sullivan

My dad always shared the story of a teacher who changed the direction of his life-Mrs. Sullivan. He had often missed school and when he did show up, did poorly. He remembers when the teacher had the children grade each others papers. The little boy grading his paper took it up to the teacher for her opinion. There were so many check marks, he wasn't sure what grade to put on it. When the teacher found out whose paper it was, she said, "oh,that's Bruce's paper. Just put an F on it!" When a new school year rolled around, he arrived at school less than enthusiastic. He had a new teacher, Mrs. Sullivan. She greeted each student at the door. Bruce had on a new blue shirt with a zippered pocket. when introduced,she said, "Bruce, I had your sister and brother and they did so well. I know you are going to do well, too." Then she leaned down and zipped the zipper on his pocket. He knew then, he would not disappoint her. He excelled and would later graduate "magna cum laude" with advanced degrees and spent most of his life inspiring and teaching others.

"The object of education is to prepare the young
to educate themselves throughout their lives.”

I DON'T REMEMBER WHAT IT WAS LIKE- WHEN I COULD REMEMBER

This was the response from my mother when I asked if it bothered her that she couldn't remember anything anymore. The answer was NO, it didn't bother her that she couldn't remember,duh--she can't remember. As my mother is aging, the role reversal is nothing I had prepared for. We got all these books on parenting when we had our kids, but how many of us have been sent a book like:

"PARENTING YOUR PARENT AND LOVING IT" or
"BECOMING YOUR AGING PARENT'S PARENT WITHOUT HAVING A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN" or
"CRACKING THE PARENTING PARENT'S CODE?" or
"THE COMPLETE GUIDE TO SURVIVING YOUR PARENTS GOLDEN YEARS".

This parent-child "flip-flop" was gradual at first but accelerated over the last year or so. I am becoming my mother flips into I AM my mother's mother. . . so to speak. This role for myself and my siblings is challenging and stressful. It is a role I would relinquish at a drop of a hat. I caught myself telling her to do something today and finished with, "at least that's what my mother use to tell me!". This role is an emotional grinder. With every new issue that develops,I find myself thrown into the grief process: bargaining, anger, sadness, and struggling to accept. Grieving the mother that faded away after several strokes because I remember what it was like when she use to remember.
I was struck, though, today that it all bothers me, more than it bothers her. Her stroke has left her just in the present. What is important is just what is going on NOW. The future is not important. What is wrong with that? A lesson for all of us to be more present in the moment. I took her out to lunch and she savored every single bite and practically licked her plate. She said it was a "dream come true". Go figure! Did she mean the eggplant Parmesan or me or getting away from the Emerald palace?

In "My Stroke of Insight", Jill Bolte Taylor,a brain scientist, has written about her experience with her stroke which helps me understand this brain process a little better. The cells in her brain became nonfunctional, she shifted into the consciousness of the present moment. She had no memories of her past and no perception of the future, but was instead in a "right here, right now, the present moment is all there is" awareness. "I got to sit in the space of silence gurus meditate toward for years."

So I am still learning lessons from my mother. . .

“Mindfulness is simply being aware of what is happening right now without wishing it were different; enjoying the pleasant without holding on when it changes (which it will); being with the unpleasant without fearing it will always be this way (which it won’t).”
-– James Baraz--

THE YEAR IN REVIEW

BEST ADVICE OF THE YEAR!! Life is good when you see the good in life.

Life is too short. Grudges are a waste of perfect happiness. Laugh when you can, apologize when you should and let go of what you can’t change. Love deeply and forgive quickly. Take chances.
Give every thing and have no regrets. Life is too short to be unhappy. You have to take the good with the bad. Always forgive, but never forget. Learn from your mistakes but never regret. People change, and things go wrong but always remember –--

life goes on!

Life is what you make it.
Always has been, always will be. ”

We all have a ticket to the greatest show on earth--
LIFE!
MAKE 2012 THE BEST SHOW YET!!

WELCOME THE NEW!!

"A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other."

YULE BLOG

"You know you've grown up
when none of the things you want
for Christmas can be bought at a store."

ALL IS CALM. . . . (cause the precious children aren't up yet!) I am enjoying the moment. Sipping my coffee,watching the fire, and listening to Melissa Ethridge belt out:

It's time to let go of all our past
And let go of what's to come
What do we have, what do we have not?
What do we need that isn't here?
This mindless, numb, consuming
Is driven by a subtle fear
It's time we stopped believing
That there will not be enough
I know they said it on the TV
So turn it off, break the chains
Step outside and feel the love
Choose only love

Now that is more like it. FEEL THE LOVE. . .
Ben is wagging his tail and nuzzling me.
Yep, I can feel the love!!

What if we could create peace on Earth?
I wonder what that would look like
What if we all stopped believing the line
That happiness comes from a stork?
What if we all started spreading the news
There's nothing to fear anymore?
What if we all took the time to be still?
We are connected, one family of light
Hallelujah

So I am taking the time to be still. Enjoying the peace before the "family of light" gathers and it is time to eat, drink and be merry!
Hallelujah!!