I DON'T REMEMBER WHAT IT WAS LIKE- WHEN I COULD REMEMBER

This was the response from my mother when I asked if it bothered her that she couldn't remember anything anymore. The answer was NO, it didn't bother her that she couldn't remember,duh--she can't remember. As my mother is aging, the role reversal is nothing I had prepared for. We got all these books on parenting when we had our kids, but how many of us have been sent a book like:

"PARENTING YOUR PARENT AND LOVING IT" or
"BECOMING YOUR AGING PARENT'S PARENT WITHOUT HAVING A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN" or
"CRACKING THE PARENTING PARENT'S CODE?" or
"THE COMPLETE GUIDE TO SURVIVING YOUR PARENTS GOLDEN YEARS".

This parent-child "flip-flop" was gradual at first but accelerated over the last year or so. I am becoming my mother flips into I AM my mother's mother. . . so to speak. This role for myself and my siblings is challenging and stressful. It is a role I would relinquish at a drop of a hat. I caught myself telling her to do something today and finished with, "at least that's what my mother use to tell me!". This role is an emotional grinder. With every new issue that develops,I find myself thrown into the grief process: bargaining, anger, sadness, and struggling to accept. Grieving the mother that faded away after several strokes because I remember what it was like when she use to remember.
I was struck, though, today that it all bothers me, more than it bothers her. Her stroke has left her just in the present. What is important is just what is going on NOW. The future is not important. What is wrong with that? A lesson for all of us to be more present in the moment. I took her out to lunch and she savored every single bite and practically licked her plate. She said it was a "dream come true". Go figure! Did she mean the eggplant Parmesan or me or getting away from the Emerald palace?

In "My Stroke of Insight", Jill Bolte Taylor,a brain scientist, has written about her experience with her stroke which helps me understand this brain process a little better. The cells in her brain became nonfunctional, she shifted into the consciousness of the present moment. She had no memories of her past and no perception of the future, but was instead in a "right here, right now, the present moment is all there is" awareness. "I got to sit in the space of silence gurus meditate toward for years."

So I am still learning lessons from my mother. . .

“Mindfulness is simply being aware of what is happening right now without wishing it were different; enjoying the pleasant without holding on when it changes (which it will); being with the unpleasant without fearing it will always be this way (which it won’t).”
-– James Baraz--

THE YEAR IN REVIEW

BEST ADVICE OF THE YEAR!! Life is good when you see the good in life.

Life is too short. Grudges are a waste of perfect happiness. Laugh when you can, apologize when you should and let go of what you can’t change. Love deeply and forgive quickly. Take chances.
Give every thing and have no regrets. Life is too short to be unhappy. You have to take the good with the bad. Always forgive, but never forget. Learn from your mistakes but never regret. People change, and things go wrong but always remember –--

life goes on!

Life is what you make it.
Always has been, always will be. ”

We all have a ticket to the greatest show on earth--
LIFE!
MAKE 2012 THE BEST SHOW YET!!

WELCOME THE NEW!!

"A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other."

YULE BLOG

"You know you've grown up
when none of the things you want
for Christmas can be bought at a store."

ALL IS CALM. . . . (cause the precious children aren't up yet!) I am enjoying the moment. Sipping my coffee,watching the fire, and listening to Melissa Ethridge belt out:

It's time to let go of all our past
And let go of what's to come
What do we have, what do we have not?
What do we need that isn't here?
This mindless, numb, consuming
Is driven by a subtle fear
It's time we stopped believing
That there will not be enough
I know they said it on the TV
So turn it off, break the chains
Step outside and feel the love
Choose only love

Now that is more like it. FEEL THE LOVE. . .
Ben is wagging his tail and nuzzling me.
Yep, I can feel the love!!

What if we could create peace on Earth?
I wonder what that would look like
What if we all stopped believing the line
That happiness comes from a stork?
What if we all started spreading the news
There's nothing to fear anymore?
What if we all took the time to be still?
We are connected, one family of light
Hallelujah

So I am taking the time to be still. Enjoying the peace before the "family of light" gathers and it is time to eat, drink and be merry!
Hallelujah!!

BEATING JACK FROST

In my previous post, I mentioned Jack Frost biting at my toes. We had unseasonably warm weather all fall. My "winter" garden was flourishing. Then the thermometer plummeted to the twenties. That's Fahrenheit. For those of you Fahrenheit-challenged, -2 or -3 Celsius. So one frosty morning, I remembered I had better harvest or end up with green goo.

So just thought you might enjoy seeing the December produce fresh from the garden.

ROASTING CHESTNUTS ON AN OPEN FIRE. . .

And Jack Frost IS nipping(CHOMPING) at my toes . . .

But this roasting chestnuts has got to be a urban myth!! Imagine you will, a lovely bag of chestnuts!! You can even imagine them IN FRONT of an open fire!! A friend of mind gave me such a bag and I SHOULD HAVE just thrown them INTO an open fire, but instead I thought I would prepare them for eating. I vaguely remembered that some years ago, I had made this same decision and regretted it. I was making some stuffing and found that the peeling was so tedious, I said I would NEVER do that again. But alas, the memory faded and I thought that perhaps, I just didn't have the correct technique. So after doing some research on the internet. . . I began the task of MUTILATING the chestnuts. There was nothing wrong with my technique upteen years ago. It was fairly easy to shell the outer shell, but to remove the "pellicle" (the pinkish inner skin) proved to be "hellicle".
I did manage to rescue a few. . . enough to flavor some soup possibly. . . In the future, I will honor my gut feeling. . .

BUY THEM PEELED!

GRATITUDE IS THE BEST ATTITUDE!

May your stuffing be tasty
May your turkey plump,
May your potatoes and gravy Have nary a lump.
May your yams be delicious
And your pies take the prize,
And may your Thanksgiving dinner
STAY off your thighs!


Gratitude can transform common days
into thanksgivings,
turn routine jobs into joy,
and change ordinary opportunities into blessings.”
- William Arthur Ward-




HAVE A WONDERFUL THANKSGIVING!!
I AM SO GRATEFUL FOR MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS!

Autumn is a season followed immediately by looking forward to Spring.

Winter is an etching, spring a watercolor, summer an oil painting and autumn a mosaic of them all.

~Stanley Horowitz

Maybe I am politically incorrect, but we are enjoying an "Indian summer" with unusually warm weather. Still lots of harvesting going on but I have planted my winter garden and I'm already nibbling on the shoots coming up!!

The leaves are taking their own sweet time turning. Then as if tired of the morphing--just drop colorless to the ground. They get swept up quickly with the mower.

I grew up in Michigan and the fall was extremely colorful and meant intensive manual labor raking, then jumping into the big pile. Which then there was more raking and piles. Harvest time we would have to help my mom pick assorted fruits and vegetables. We would sit and shell the peas or beans and share jokes and stories or play 20 questions. Blueberries were my favorite fruit to pick. The berries were as big as quarters and I would hang my bucket around my neck and milk the vines, pausing to pop handfuls into my mouth. Sweet memories.

Seasons change and life moves on.
Breathe deep and be mindful of the moment.

GOAT WRANGLER

One of our neighbors has a collection of goats. Most of the fence has been reinforced, but wouldn't you know it there was just a small portion that was not. Now you might notice in these pictures that the "goat yard" is a little sterile--bleak--bland. So it probably isn't too surprising that day after day of looking at our oasis, fruit trees, lawn, and green shrubbery that the goats managed to find a weakness in the fence. In just moments, they were feasting on the Frodahl Farm.

Shortly after, Ernie returned to find that goats grazing happily in our back yard. Now we have a hedge of Oleanders along the fence-line. Oleanders are a huge green shrub that is toxic in all it's parts, especially to animals. It is one of the most poisonous of commonly grown garden plants. Ernie could just envision that they were very close to munching on these leaves, if they hadn't already. We don't have a border collie or a cattle dog,just Ben, who could care less if there are stray animals in the yard. (even ignored a couple of horses that wandered in!) So, he knew he had to quickly round up the goats. This sounds like nothing to it, but the goats were like kids with no interest in moving anywhere. He coaxed and pleaded and finally just had to pick them up and carry them to the garage one by one. He had left a note at the neighbors, so finally the guy's mother shows up flustered in a small compact car cause "the guy" was out of town. . . .


Next thing she knew, whether she liked it or not, Ernie had loaded the 5 goats in to the back seat of the car. She was very anxious, but Ernie reassured her to just HURRY HOME! I wish he had taken a picture of 5 goats in the back seat of a car!! So we will just have to leave that for the imagination.

DON'T TAKE MY WORD FOR IT!!

For those of you that have never heard of Reading Rainbow,it was a PBS children's TV series hosted by Levar Burton. It was one of our favorite shows. Each episode centered on a theme from a book which was explored through a number of stories. The show also provided book recommendations for kids to look for when they went to the library and the show ended with the slogan: "Don't take my word for it!". I remember taking Elliott to the library when he was about 4 and he would ask for "The life cycle of the honey bee by Paula Hogan" or "A Chair for my Mother by Vera B Williams". I was just amazed. In honor of that show, I thought that maybe I would do a RR-style blog centered on a book that you will hopefully ask for at your local library. But don't take my word for it!!

The NY bestseller that has captured me is: Lost in Shangra-La. "A True Story of Survival, Adventure, and the Most Incredible Rescue Mission of World War II." A plane carrying 24 members of the military, crashed into the New Guinea jungle during a sightseeing excursion. The three survivors were stranded deep in a jungle valley notorious for its cannibalistic tribes. Or as the author put it, “crash-landed in a world that time didn’t forget. Time never knew it existed.”

This is a riveting story and captured my interest because in 1973, my mom,brother and I made a visit to this "cannibal valley"-or Baliem Valley. The only way in, to this day, is still by airplane. It is a beautiful valley surrounded by mountains and occupied by the Dani people-a stone age gentle and peaceful tribe that has survived into the 20th century. Primitive in many ways, but agriculturally very advanced with large cultivated gardens of huge cabbages, sweet potatoes and beans. The outside world hadn't totally gotten to it yet. . . yet.

One of the locals told us he would take us to see a "mummy" in another village not too far away. We began walking. . . and walking. . . and 2 1/2 hours later, after passing many villages, arrived at the "mummy village". Then they wouldn't show it to us, unless we paid some money. (Primitive, but understand a commercial opportunity) I did find the mummy unique---"old man pickin' his toes" I wrote in my diary. Jerry had brought his Polaroid camera and took a picture of the chief. The expressions on their faces when they watched the picture emerge was priceless. They crowded around and scrutinized it carefully and there was an anxious moment as the chief looked at it. . . . then he finally broke into a broad grin. SAFE!

So I hope you will pick up this book and read about the history of the Valley!

But Don't take my word for it!